Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Dreams and inner yoga in Fort Worden, WA

Just got back from a yoga conference with Angela Farmer and Victor Van Kooten. These peeps:


This was a great antidote to the over achieving twenty-something let's strike a pose teachers I've been seeing lately. Although I do love the hot yoga in the winter time, I have found it increasingly hard to keep up. It takes doing a lot of yoga to stay that ready to do those poses and I just haven't been doing them. So yoga for me has been falling by the way side.

Well no more!

Angela and Victor came to Port Townsend and taught at Fort Worden for two days about their yoga point of view. It definitely does not involve poses! In fact their yoga could be called anti-poses which is probably why you don't hear a lot about it in the yoga community. Probably it would be too hard for most people to teach. It would involve you and a mat and you actively listening to your body, making up your own poses as needed and basically just opening up and doing the opposite of what "normal" yoga teaches.

"Normal" yoga teaches poses
"Normal" yoga teaches to close down the lower chakras and bring the energy up to the top
"Normal" yoga focuses on a goal that the outer body imposes on the inner body

Angela and Victor's yoga doesn't teach any poses
They teach opening up the the lower chakras - the two base chakras - and letting those guide you
Their yoga teaches to listen to the inner body and its wisdom

Sacrilege to some practitioners, I'm sure!

I enjoyed it, but came home sore. Mostly because I tried to open a monster window at Fort Worden by myself. Ouch!

And I've been having weird dreams. Angela is all about the inner feminine which is great, but what if your inner feminine is a bitch? It's not so good. Here's a dream I had after the first class:

So after being in yoga class all day yesterday and opening all those darn petals – it’s a chakra thing – I of course dream about my inner feminine. I don’t have a very good relationship with my inner feminine and in some ways my inner feminine has a terrible relationship with the outer world 

The last time I saw her in a dream this expressive she was a disembodied head screaming at a man lying on the floor of the elevator at my feet. Yep, a real nice gal.

Anyway in this dream my hiking buddy Annette was the one with the terrible mother. (Annette represented me since all people of the same sex in your dreams represent pieces of yourself, if you didn’t know that but let’s not make this more complicated than it already is.) And Annette basically wanted to kill her mother.

So the perfect soccer mom type 1950’s mother is lurking about making snarky comments about Annette and Annette and me are hiding out behind this brick wall in the kitchen that has these slats in it so Annette can sorta see me, and Annett’s got a gun. She’s waiting for mum to come around the corner so she can blast her. She throws a hair dryer to draw her closer and waits.

In the meantime nobody moves and I’m scared Annette’s gonna shoot me by mistake! But then I peek my head around the corner and I see that the woman’s gone to the front door. In pour a bunch of tiny little soccer girls and their parental units. Like they’re just stopping by after the big game to say hi or something.

So the mother gets out some treats for them and starts talking to these little girls about what’s wrong with Annette (me). Then she starts singing this song about how everything started out happy at the end of the rainbow where the stars come from, but then how Annette found unhappiness there too, and kept going back for more. Then she broke into Somewhere Over the Rainbow and all the little kids joined in.

I woke up going WTF? Really?

Too much yoga is dangerous in the wrong hands, I tell ya.


And so there you have it. A nasty unsupportive mum and probably Annette as the teenage me wanting to kill her. Yikes. And so you think.... well, I need a better inner feminine role model for sure but where to get one?

But Victor wasn't totally forgotten either. I didn't get a very supportive inner masculine role model either. Both of them kind of sucked really. But I thought to myself, well, at least I'm balanced. I don't see one sex as fairer than the other - it's a Libra thing.

Last night I dreamed about a sort of inner male - or got information from one. He was lying in the easy chair snoozing and I was standing over him watching him sleep. When he woke up I snatched the two remote controls from him saying that's what I wanted. I took those and went and watched two very different movies. One was a happy movie about a woman and the other very discordant and fear-inducing. And I woke up thinking to myself that I have to find a way to balance this shit too. Cause I really did grow up with two very different views of the world - the fearful one from my parents and the happy one that just comes naturally with being a child.

And I sit here this morning wondering just how much I have to balance in life. It's weirdness, I tell you.

Bratty

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sweet Lou... *silence* then music...