Saturday, May 4, 2013

Post-surgery Dad

The surgery went well.
Photo by Bon Appetit

They cut you open like a chicken, messed with your ticker and instead of stuffing you with orange slices, butter and herbs, they just sewed you back up. Now you have a funky scar down your front and your sternum is held together with wire. 

Personally, this is now my worst nightmare. If it ever happens to me, I think I'll gag.

You're recovering. Getting your strength back slowly but ...

You're still a pain in the ass.

Remember when just a few hours after surgery you insisted on getting up to pee instead making it easy on everyone and just peeing in the container? Yeah. That was nice for the nurses that had to help you and all your attached equipment into the bathroom just so you could take a whiz. I've never seen that nurse look so tired!

Then you keep up with the macho "get outta my way" crap even though you aren't so tough. Taking you to the park was an exercise in paranoia. If you had fallen.... Good lord.

I can only hope you've learned something from this. What smoking does to your body for example. What you having a heart attack did to the family - to mom. What the limits of your selfishness should really be.

I didn't say I had high hopes....