Friday, September 19, 2014

Vacation photos September, 2014

A few photos from Port Townsend, and around the Port Angeles, WA area.

Salt Creek Recreation Area looking down on Crescent Bay

Salt Creek Recreation Area

Crescent Bay beach

Lake Crescent

Marymere Falls

Lady Washington

More later,


Robin Williams and the addiction we all share

So I read this pretty good article about the death of Robin Williams the other day. It's by a psychologist and I thought it was pretty good for the most part, at least until she got to the point where she pretty much called him manic depressive.

And that's okay I guess, but it's not as accurate as I think the analysis could be. Because, I think when you apply a label to something it makes it US vs. THEM. If you label someone manic depressive then you can say, "oh, that's not me. I'm not like that." But that's a foolish road to go down IMO. In a way, it will only take you farther from yourself.

The way I see Robin Williams' death, it was all about addiction.

I know, I said I would talk about the father image, the male archetype, but I kind of got sidetracked. Who can blame me? According to Kaypacha, we're all going through this inner child thang. A thang where yeah, the inner child needs to grow up a bit. For many people that means letting go of the hurts of the past - some of which we keep acting out over and over and over again in our adult lives. I call these repetitive actions of doing the same thing over and over again in order to relieve our personal - inner child - pain, addiction. Really, that's what it is. And I think that's what killed Robin Williams.

That's not Kaypacha's best report but it's not his worst either. If you've been watching him for a while, he's made it pretty clear that this inner child work is intense. It's hard to do, to let go and to grow. Some people who are already done with their work are checking out. Others, who simply won't do the work or are too fragile to do it, are checking out, too. People like Robin Williams.

Now, I don't know what Robin's childhood was like. I myself had a childhood, and I can tell you it was fraught with hurts and there was lots of leftover garbage. It's not a stretch for me to say that Robin had some of the same. But I can't say exactly how much. I will suppose though, that for Robin Williams to become a star, for him to push himself that hard at making comedy - his way of getting strokes, making himself feel good with the adoration, etc. - he must have had a LOT of hurt lurking in there. Why? Humans are lazy creatures. They won't dig a 20 foot hole if a 10 foot hole will do. If one visit to the dentist will do it, they don't volunteer for more. In other words, if I have a childhood hole to fill that's as big as a Cadillac, I'm going to seek exactly that much attention. If on the other hand it's the size of the Empire State Building, then I'm going to need a MUCH BIGGER bang for my efforts. I'm going to need LOTS of payoff.

Like become famous.

Only, get this. A crutch is a crutch is a crutch. Once you start to get in touch with that inner child, and once you figure out that YOU can take care of the inner child's needs mostly by yourself, what good is the crutch anymore? You can just toss away the addictive behaviour and be done with it, right? Well, what if it's your job? And what if that job makes you millions of dollars?

Robin Williams' job was to be funny but I can almost guarantee you his inner child wasn't funny at all. His inner child, like most everybody's was hurt and sad and afraid. But in order to pay attention to it and take care of it the right way, he needed to put down the crutch. Only he was too afraid to do so. He chose to end his life rather than say, "you know what, world? This is me, the real me, and I'm really not funny. I'm done with being funny."

Maybe he felt too much pressure - didn't want to disappoint his fans, his wife, the movie industry. Or maybe it was all too personal for him, too hurtful and he found he could not love his true inner self at all. That he abandoned his inner self is obvious. He abandoned himself in the worst way. He gave up when faced with the answer: love yourself as you truly are. Not as you were taught to be. Not the shell that we all formed to protect ourselves from further hurt. But the real, inner, original person we all once were. It's still there, waiting for us. Getting to it can be frustrating and yes, you have to give up your addictions - the things you use like band aids to make yourself feel better - to become the real you.

It's addiction that killed Robin Williams. I won't pretend I don't know what that feels like, and I refuse to label it as something "else." To do so would put a spin on it that would tarnish the message his death left to the world, and tag it as something "other people" did, and not us. That's not true. We, all of us, do addiction all the time. Just not on the same scale. And man, from there the view must have looked pretty darn steep.

R.I.P. Robin Williams.